


Chasing Pavements

by samuraipizzacat



Category: Infinite (Band), Momoland (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samuraipizzacat/pseuds/samuraipizzacat
Summary: It's funny...growing up, everyone told me I could get anything I wanted in this life if I tried my best and worked hard enough. For the longest time, I believed and have been living proof of that. So I'd like you to tell me - despite everything I do...why I can't ever have you?An AU where Jane is a world-renowned photographer who finds inspiration in the beautiful hapa, Nancy Jewel McDonie...who just so happens to be her best friend-Yeonwoo's girlfriend. Jane-centric. Angst.





	1. Somebody That I Used To Know

**Author's Note:**

> I was just throwing a random plot bunny over on Twitter (https://twitter.com/samura1pizzacat/status/1040638214439149568) about a Jane/Nancy/Yeonwoo love triangle, where Jane's affections go unnoticed and unreciprocated. I unexpectedly received a lot of positive feedback regarding the matter. I initially couldn't commit to the idea. TBH, I wanted someone else to write it so bad...but I haven't had any takers ㅠ.ㅠ I was planning to just revisit the idea in a couple of month's time, but the plot was just sort of growing in my head, so I ended up typing away earlier today, and here we are.
> 
> Also for the sake of the story, they're all Korean-Americans (Americans of Korean descent) and are based in the US. I've had to make these adjustments because some real-life constraints would just make the story way less realistic if I had set it in South Korea (because let's be real here, we all know S. Korea isn't one of the most progressive countries in terms of the LGBTQ+ acceptance and/or support...yet). It's really not too obvious, but in case you do squint and notice the references, I hope it doesn't bother you guys too much. I also really do hope you will give this story the same kind of support you've given my previous work. Thank you again so much for the love you've all sent my way! 8-8

Jane saw the profile of an attractive young man studying what the spectators had unanimously decided was the best photo in her exhibit. She couldn’t shake off the feeling that she knew this person, so she slowly approached him to get a better view.

 

 And she couldn’t believe her eyes

 

 “Myungsoo?!”

 

The man snapped out of the trance he was under to see who had called out his name. And he couldn’t help but break out into a wide grin when he saw her, displaying that infamous dimple on his right cheek “Well if it isn’t my favorite junior. Come here and give me a big hug, little Strawberry”

 

Jane was still flabbergasted and could only weakly pat his back in response to being enveloped in his lean yet sturdy arms. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years” he whispered into her hair.

 

‘Fuck…’ she thought as she took in his intoxicating scent mixed with his perfume. The years have done her senior nothing but good. His hair was shorter than it used to be during their photography club days in high school. And although Jane missed the thought of running her fingers through what used to be his medium-length locks, she had to admit that this style complemented the sharp angles he had developed, replacing what used to be his boyish charm with a sly appeal. Suddenly she was flooded with memories of muffled moans, disheveled school uniforms and tight broom closets, with a curiosity of how different it would be with him now creeping from the back of her mind. She shook her head to rid herself of sullied thoughts and the flush that was forming in her cheeks.

 

“What are you doing here, Myungsoo?”

 

He gently pulled back from their embrace to get a better view of the younger girl. “Oh so it’s Myungsoo now is it? Whatever happened to ‘L’? And is that how you greet an old friend who you haven’t seen in a decade?” he flashed her a smirk.

 

She scoffed at his mention of the word ‘friend’. That wasn’t quite the word to describe what they had. He had been the one who taught her everything she knew, from comprehending the composition of a shot, to figuring out the aperture and shutter speed on her camera. He was always there to listen to her express all her hurt and frustrations, always offering helpful words of wisdom that lead to her overcoming her struggles. But in the dark, his lips knew how to elicit pleased sighs from her as they mapped her body, just as her hands understood how he desired to be touched.

 

And yet, he wasn’t ever her boyfriend. They were by no means even ‘dating’. They never really talked about what they had, but at that point in her life…whatever it was the two of them shared, meant the world to her. But life wasn’t a fairy tale, and he had enlisted to join the army as a combat camera before they could even properly talk to figure out whatever the hell they were.

 

She was still really overwhelmed with seeing him again that she could only respond to his words with a blank stare. “Ah, I see that nothing has changed. You’re still as cold as you are beautiful, Jane. And here I thought all the years we spent apart would’ve made you a little more tender towards me” he feigned hurt, clutching his chest with both his arms

 

The silly gesture was enough to make her burst in giggles. “L, you big idiot!” She playfully punched his shoulder. She knew theirs was a messy past, but deep down he was still a dear friend and beloved mentor to her. He gave her another dimpled smile as they both came in for a proper hug.

 

“I actually just completed my enlistment” he started as they untangled their arms from the other’s bodies “so I’m still taking it easy, you know? Just going around the US, trying to enjoy the civilian life again.” she just noticed how dark his eyes had become. They must’ve seen many horrifying things.

 

“And when I heard little Strawberry Sung had a solo exhibit in the Big Apple, who was I to refuse?” L said as he gave her a cheeky grin “So, would the great Jiyeon Sung do me the honor of personally walking me through her illustrious exhibition?” he offered her his arm. Jane couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she looped her arm around the one he extended.

 

"You look great, by the way. Who would've thought that you would make for such an amazing blonde?" the former military man winked at her. "You don't look to shabby yourself, Mr. Clean-Cut. Who would've thought your face could get more chiseled?" she shot back.

 

“I would’ve asked how you were, but seeing this exhibit now, I can tell you’ve been doing very well for yourself.” L commented as they passed by a photo of a Eurasian teenage boy with drenched clothes in a swimming pool.

 

“I’m not doing too bad. You know, I’ve been juggling some editorials with Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar to pay the bills. But this exhibit was the first project that I actually felt connected to in a long time.” She shrugged as he studied a portrait of a dark skinned lady with wild curls who possessed eyes with epicanthic folds. “It’s probably my favorite one after the work I did with Doctors Without Borders in the DRC four years ago.” She let out a little smile, a small sign of how proud she was of the work she actually found meaningful

 

“I find it extremely interesting that you picked mixed race individuals as your subject for this exhibition” he mused as they went through a few more pictures.

 

“Don’t you find them interesting though? These people are supposed to embody everything America was theoretically built on. When the world’s melting pot of ethnicities and cultures produces children of various backgrounds, you would think that they wouldn’t feel out of place in the slightest. Yet, from what I’ve seen, they’re living paradoxes. These kids show just how you can belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time” she explained as she walked him back right where they started.

 

He intently returned his gaze to the first snapshot he studied, the framed photograph of a young woman crowned with lustrous brown tresses and bright brown eyes, who possessed a bedazzling smile, slightly turning her body away from the camera.

 

“Really now?” he raised an eyebrow towards Jane “Because if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said that you just did all of this because of her” L said as he tilted his head towards the photo he was previously staring at.

 

“…excuse me?” Jane shot him a bewildered look, abruptly jerking her arm away from his.

 

“You know that saying right – the one where they say subjects look their very best when their photographers adore them?” she could only respond with furrowed brows as he continued “I can tell this girl is very beautiful, Jane. But the way you’ve captured her makes her look so stunning and otherworldly, that the words I’m using right now to describe her fail to do her any justice” L asserted.

 

Jane darted her eyes between the portrait and L, her mind racing so fast she couldn’t think straight. Her heart pounding so loud, she swore she could feel the beats reverberating from her ears.

 

“You must love her a lot.” L declared

 

“What makes you say that?” she challenged

 

He looks at the floor longingly before meeting her eyes with a sad smile “The photos you’ve taken of her look just like the ones you used to take of me”

 

Jane averted her gaze from her former upperclassman to the portrait of none other than the lovely Nancy Jewel McDonie.


	2. Creep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said you wouldn't know it was set in America unless you squinted? Okay, that's a lie now, forget I said anything and please just embrace the AU, thank you T3T AND ZOMG YASSSSS CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR QUEENS COZ BAAM REACHED 100M VIEWS!!!!!. Let’s keep on voting for them over at AAA :*

 

Jane lay in her bed, and gave her ceiling a long blank stare. She knew suddenly leaving L at her exhibit after just seeing him again was rude and maybe a little unnecessary, but she couldn’t take any more of his biting observations. His words felt like sharp knives that pierced and twisted to gut her stomach. She felt an intangible heaviness pressing against her chest just from replaying everything her old senior had said to her. It made her sick...it was almost as if her heart needed to jump out of her mouth. She noticed her vision blur as she continued to stare at her dark ceiling.

 

‘...was he wrong though?’ Jane mentally asked herself as she started blinking away the hot tears that had formed at the corner of her eyes. She threw her arms over the upper half of her face as the tears rolled down her temples. She hadn’t felt this pathetic since the night she found out about L’s enlistment a decade earlier; and at least then she had more of a right to feel the way she did. Her mind screamed at her ‘But she’s Yeonwoo’s girlfriend!’

 

“As if I didn’t already know that!” She groaned out to the empty silence of her bedroom.

 

She reached to grab the Doraemon plush seated by her headboard, and held it over herself with both her hands. She gave the ‘closed’ eyes of the animated blue robotic cat a worried look.

 

Yeonwoo gave her this stuffed animal in elementary school. The dark-haired girl was the very first friend Jane made when she flew from Garak-Dong to Palisades Park in the third grade. It was funny, because despite the high concentration of Koreans in the area, she used to be bullied – although it wasn’t because of her ethnicity.

 

Jane knew she didn’t exactly look like the rest of her family. Her parents and younger sister were tanned, plump, and possessed typical East Asian eyes. In contrast she was fair, slender and had eyes that were big & round. Many kids didn’t just make fun of her because of her limited grasp over the English language at the time; they also used to taunt her about how different she looked from her family. She lost count of the number of times she was called an adoptee or nicknamed ‘the foster kid’.

 

All the bullying she got suddenly came to a halt when one day Dabin Lee, her grade school’s most popular girl, punched the boy who tried to cut one of Jane’s twin braids square in the nose. Nobody messed with her since. After that, she kept on hanging around Dabin, where they developed a friendship over their natural messiness, their mutual adoration of Japanese animated cartoons and shared passion for the arts.

 

Jane would forever be grateful for Dabin’s heroic gesture towards her. She incessantly thanked the raven-haired girl when they were children, and teased her savior for being such a ‘young prince’...which is why she (and eventually, everyone else) started calling the fox-like beauty ‘Yeonwoo’.

 

Jane and Yeonwoo had been inseparable since, and had always been there to be the other’s support through trying times. Jane remembered when her best friend helped her piece herself back together after L bid her goodbye to leave for basic training in Fort Jackson. How Yeonwoo was the one who pushed her to apply for a scholarship to NYU-Tisch’s Photography & Imaging Program, to which she was ultimately successful. Jane recognized that her time at university helped her develop a portfolio and build a network that became crucial in the success she currently enjoyed.

 

Jane brought Doraemon to her chest and buried her face in the plush’s head. She was very well aware she owed Yeonwoo the world, and she swore she would do anything to keep her best friend happy...but her feelings just had to start getting muddled after that one fateful subway ride three years ago.

 

 

 

**********

_– 3 years ago –_

_Jane let out a heavy sigh as she descended on the steps of Cortlandt Street Station. While she was extremely grateful that she got the opportunity to work with Vogue, her first meeting with the editorial staff was dreadful. She really liked having full reign over her work, and did not appreciate having her artistic vision compromised. But it was her first big break in fashion photography, and she understood that this could open a lot of doors for her if she did well. She couldn’t blow her chance to become a better known and respected photographer all because of her dumb pride, so she had to grin and bear the nightmare for a good portion of the day. She gave what was left of her view of the concrete jungle’s skyline a long hard look ‘Everything in the city feels a little suffocating…I think I should head to Central Park for a breather.’ She quietly thought to herself before going in the Broadway Line’s platform entrance._

_She walked towards the platform and scrunched up her nose as she took in the sight of the dingy tiled walls and the grimy floor. The foul stench that invaded her nostrils was much worse. She really wished the subway could be cleaner, even if just a little bit. She quickly boarded her service after it arrived. Jane really wanted to avoid seeing the big, fat subway rats. Even if Yeonwoo kept on insisting that she resembled Remy the rat from Ratatouille. She was a firm believer that rodents were cute enough as cartoons, seeing them in real life however was just another story entirely. She shuddered at her memory of seeing pizza rat in the flesh a couple of months back._

_She walked towards the middle of the railcar to take an empty seat by the window, and flung her bag on her lap. She stuck her hand in her bag, blindly trying to reach for her earphones to pass the time by listening to some music. ‘Aha!’ she triumphantly exclaimed in her head as she pulled it by the cord. Jane was just about to put one of her earbuds in when she heard a saccharine voice answer a phone call._

_“Mommy?”_

_She turned her head to see the owner of the sweet voice on a seat by the railcar doors. Jane clenched her eyes tightly before opening them as wide as she could. She couldn’t believe her eyes_

_“…an angel” Jane’s thoughts escaped her lips in a whisper as she accidentally dropped her earphones on her lap, which she then scrambled to retrieve. She gulped down the lump she didn’t know she had in her throat and took a deep breath to calm her erratic heartbeat ‘Okay. Okay. Like…WOW! Girl crush alert!’ she mulled to herself. She knew it might’ve been a little vulgar to do so, but she couldn’t help but stop and stare at the striking belle whose fair face was framed with brilliant bronze waves and sprinkled with bright eyes the color of hazelnuts ‘…plus, that nose is to die for’ the photographer quietly finished her train of thought._

_“I’m doing fine, mommy. How about you? How’re dad and Brenda? Oh, really? That’s good to hear” the brunette said to her phone, absentmindedly tilting her head to face Jane’s direction. Jane scurried to look away and started staring intently at the earphones in her hands instead. “Yeah, I just dropped by the French market today to grab some wine and cheese. I’m on my way home, but I might take the scenic route today. I think I miss seeing the trees.” The girl informed the person on the other line._

_The captivating young woman started giggling at whatever she heard and responded “I know Central Park is essentially my backyard, but school’s just been a little busy lately and I think I’m a little high strung. Why do you think I went all the way downtown just to grab some Brie and a bottle of Sauternes?”_

_‘Great, we’re both going down the same stop. I hope she won’t think I’m a stalker or something’ the strawberry blonde internally bemoaned. She then snuck another glance at the brunette beauty as she bid her collocutor adieu “Yes, I will, mommy. You guys take care over there as well. I love you too!”_

_The photographer tried to mind her own business for the rest of the trip by cancelling everything out with her earphones. When the service reached Fifth Avenue-59th Street, the entrancing stranger took hold of a brown paper bag, and quickly exited the railcar. Jane noticed a green and white folding umbrella drop out of the young woman’s paper bag. She picked the item up in a hurry and tried to return it to the owner as soon as she could, but she noticed the girl already proceeding to exit the station. She dashed out the train before its doors closed, and tried to follow the direction the girl was headed towards._

_She wanted to call her out, to tell her to wait up…but she remembered that she wasn’t always the best at talking to people she didn’t know, and decided it was best that she spare herself from what could be an awkward conversation. So she chucked the umbrella in her coat pocket as she tucked her earphones away into the chaos of her bag. She then trailed the girl from a reasonable distance._

_Normally, she would’ve just ignored this, because really, who had the time to return a lousy folding umbrella of all things to a stranger in freaking New York City? But something about this girl just drew Jane in ‘…it’s almost as if I want to protect her.’ She brushed her silly thoughts away._

_She noticed the girl go up Gapstow Bridge and rummage through her bag. The brown-haired maiden appeared to have come up with what the photographer could only guess was stale bread in a Ziploc. She saw the stranger break the bread into smaller portions and toss the pieces into the pond. A raft of ducks then begun to pool below the bridge, to nip on the floating crumbs._

_Jane gazed at the sight in pure wonder. The beautiful stranger leaned against the bridge, basking in the sunset against the fiery backdrop of autumn, which did nothing but accentuate her features._

_It was a breathtaking view._

_Jane found herself reaching for the analog Leica M in her bag and pointed it at the picturesque sight before her, to capture it in its entire splendor. She ended up taking a few more snapshots, trying to justify to herself that the lighting would’ve gone to waste otherwise._

_She put her camera away as she suddenly remembered what she had followed the girl for. Jane discreetly climbed up the bridge, right behind a small group of people, and quietly placed the girl’s umbrella next to her brown paper bag on the floor. As she exited the bridge, she heard the stranger curse “Oh shoot! I dropped dad’s Bobcats umbrella!” she smiled as she gave a girl one last quick look before heading to the Carousel._

_………._

_When Jane arrived home, she went straight to the makeshift darkroom she had in her apartment and developed the film negatives of the photos she took that day. She couldn’t help but smile while reviewing all of the finished prints. She grabbed an empty photo album she had lying around and decided to organize her shots. Her gaze lingered on the last few photographs she snapped, her hand reached out to touch one of the stunning stranger’s pictures…almost as if in longing._

_She closed the album and hid it in her nightstand’s drawer, before she prepared herself for bed. Jane had a splendid slumber that night, which may or may not have been thanks to the fascinating lass she saw that day._

_– two weeks later –_

**_Buzz-buzz-buzz. Buzz-buzz-buzz._ **

_Jane glared at the source of what disturbed her sleep. She checked the digital clock on her bedside table and saw that it was still 6am. ‘Who the hell is up this early on a Sunday morning?!’ she internally groaned. Picking up her phone, the caller ID read ‘Foxy Mama’. She pressed the green button on her screen as she rolled her eyes ‘Of course, who else would bother me at this ungodly hour?’_

_“I met someone!” an animated voice piped from the other side of the line_

_“Well, a good morning to you too, star shine. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the earth and other normal human beings say hello.” Jane groggily quipped._

_“I’ve seen your prepubescent self, Jiyeon. I think I get a pass to skip pleasantries with you over the phone. As I was saying, I met someone!!! I think you’ll like’m.” Yeonwoo retorted._

_“Oh? So when do I get to meet this unlucky individual?” Jane smirked as she rubbed the sleep off her eyes_

_“Shut up!!! I swear to God, if you hadn’t stuck by my messy ass for the last seventeen years, I’d beat you up.” The vixen aggressively replied._

_“Not if I kicked your ass first!” the strawberry blonde chuckled as she sat up and leaned her back against her bed’s headboard._

_“Whatever, stop it! I’m trying to get a message across here. Anyway, I want you to meet’m. We’ll catch you for coffee this afternoon in the East Village. You know that cafe we used to visit in college, the one on 7th?” Yeonwoo asked_

_“I think I remember. It’s the one with the warm wooden interiors, right?” Jane scratched her head trying to think of a time that would work best for all of them “Does 3 sound good?”_

_“Yeah, that’s the one. Sounds perfect! See you later, loser!”_

_“Laters, loser!”_

_………._

_Jane walked in the cafe and saw her best friend giving her big, wide waves with her entire arm, motioning her to come to approach the booth she was occupying._

_“Dork!” Jane mouthed towards the statuesque seductress as she approached the seat. She couldn’t make out the figure of her friend’s date from afar which she found a little confusing. She knew her friend had a penchant for taller men ‘hmmm...that’s strange. He must be a shorty then’_

_As she approached the bench opposite her friend, she got a better look at her friend’s date, and to her surprise it was a...girl. And not just any girl, it was **the** girl she saw at the subway two weeks ago. The beautiful brunette broke into a dazzling smile and stood up to pull her into a tight hug. As the shorter girl leaned away, she chattered along “You must be Jane! It’s so great to finally meet you! I’m Nancy by the way!”_

_There were a million questions running through Jane’s head at that very moment, and she was still trying to piece everything together in her head, so she tried to put her best poker face on. Worry crossed Nancy’s face as her warm greeting was met with a deadpan look. Yeonwoo shook her head and gently squeezed the younger girl’s shoulder “Don’t worry, princess. Jane is something of a tsundere, so this is just sort of how she reacts to everyone initially”_

_“What’s a tsundere, puppy?” the younger girl inquired_

_“It’s a person who’s kind of cold and closed off at first, but proves to be really sweet when they warm up to you after some time” the older girl explained “Why don’t you grab me an iced coffee and a strawberry smoothie for Jane while I get her up to speed?” Yeonwoo pulled the shorter girl closer as she gave her a soft look with a warm smile._

_“Alrightie. Pardon me guys, I’ll be right back!” Nancy excused herself from the older girls, but not before she gave Yeonwoo’s lips a chaste kiss._

_Jane felt a spasm in her chest at the sight._

_The photographer slowly sat on the bench opposite her best friend as she tried with every inch of her being not to scream out loud “A girl?!? You’re dating a girl?!? I thought when you said I’d ‘like’m’ and that you wanted me to ‘meet’m’ you meant a ‘him’ and were just using weird ass conjunctions!!!”_

_“I know, I know. Calm your titties, Ratatouille” the dark-haired goddess tried to pacify her best friend as she took a seat._

_“Are you gay?!?” the blonde shouted back in a whisper._

_“Yes. No. I mean I don’t know???” Jane’s friend just looked as perplexed as she did “About a week and a half ago, I ended up at a random party in a penthouse near Julliard and some of us started playing spin the bottle. Then of course when it was my turn it landed on her. So I was just kissing her one second, and then the next thing I knew it was like, I didn’t want to stop? And it seemed like she didn’t either?”_

_“You went to another college party?! Is she still in college?! Holy shit, Yeonwoo. Please tell me she’s at least eighteen now, because I swear-“_

_“Don’t get your panties up in a bunch! She’s in her last year in college. I mean, she told me she skipped a grade when she was a kid, but she’s 21 now!” Yeonwoo quickly defended herself._

_Jane let out a sigh of relief. She furrowed her eyebrows as she started again, a little unsure “So are you like…bi now?”_

_“I really don’t know. I mean, you know my track record. I’ve never really thought about being with girls until I met her. Although lesby real here, have you seen her??” Jane tried to stifle her snicker at her friend’s pun._

_"And we haven’t even really done much other than making out. But even if you took the physical stuff out of the equation…all I know is she makes me feel things I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.” Yeonwoo let out a dreamy sigh “Do I really have to label myself?”_

_“I suppose you don’t have to…” the photographer exhaled. She can’t quite ascertain if her friend was just going through a phase, but she wanted to be supportive “So, are you two exclusive now or…?”_

_“We’ve been steady since that night” the raven haired girl retorted, full of confidence_

_“You sure do move fast.” Jane snorted_

_“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Yeonwoo flashed her best friend a cocky smirk._

_“Order up!” Nancy came in with a tray in her hands, interrupting the older girls’ conversation with a beam. She passed Jane her strawberry smoothie and then took a seat next to Yeonwoo, as she handed her girlfriend her cold brew._

_“Thank you, princess.” The noirette affectionately pinched the young brunette’s nose, to which she received a crinkled nose smile in return “You’re welcome, puppy!”_

_Jane felt her chest constrict. ‘I must be dehydrated’ she reasoned mentally. She cleared her throat and took a sip of her smoothie “Uhm, thanks, Nancy” she murmured_

_“It’s no biggie at all, Jane!” Nancy merrily chirped back_

_“So uhm, what’re you having?” the photographer tried to start with some small talk._

_“Oh, this?” Nancy glanced down at the plate that held a green dessert in front of her “It’s a mint chocolate chip cheesecake! Do you wanna try?” the younger girl offered her fork with a vivid smile_

_“Uh, no. It’s okay. Uhm, I was just curious because I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before” Jane clumsily declined. She tried to shift the conversation back to her companions “So…what made you decide to go out with this big dork right here?”_

_“Oh, where do I start? Hmmm…I’ve never really given relationships much thought before. I’ve never had a boyfriend, much less a girlfriend, because I kind of have a one-track mind. And I’ve really just been set on doing my best at Julliard, so hopefully I can make it big in Broadway one day.” Nancy started with a gentle smile_

_“But then Yeonwoo wouldn’t stop following me around after that drunken game of spin the bottle. She followed me to the coatroom and told me I tasted good” Nancy laughed at the memory_

_“Princess, you don’t have to tell her that!!” Yeonwoo reddened as she comically tried to cover the younger girl’s mouth with her hands._

_“It’s the truth though!” the brunette retorted, softly removing her girlfriend’s hands from her face before continuing “And I don’t know. I told her I liked the mole near her eye, because I thought it made her look ridiculously pretty. And drunk-Nancy just went in and pecked it. Then she told me that she couldn’t stop staring at the mole above my lip, so she just came at me again” she finished in giggles_

_“She then insisted that she was going to take me to my dorm, and the next thing I know we were walking there with our fingers interlaced. When we got there, she looked me straight in the eye and asked ‘So, is this us?’, and who was drunk-Nancy to refuse when sober-Nancy would’ve jumped for it anyway?” the young girl gave her girlfriend a giddy look._

_The photographer couldn’t understand why it took so much effort to let out a convincing smile “That sounds great.”_

_…….._

_Jane didn’t get an ounce of sleep that night._

 

********

 

 

 

‘Of course he wasn’t wrong…he never is.’ she bitterly thought. She should’ve known right from the start that everything L said was true. Jane whimpered against Doreamon. She really couldn’t figure out if she was crying because she was such a shitty friend for wanting her best friend’s girl or if it was because she couldn’t have that girl at all. She continued to stain the plush’s head with her tears as she entered a dreamless slumber.


	3. All Those Friendly People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ASDFGHJKL?!?!?!?! DID Y'ALL SEE HOW GOOD JANE LOOKED IN HER LATEST SELCA??? WELL IF YOU HAVEN'T HERE IT IS! I am not over it, and kindly feel free to imagine her looking like that in this chapter. I just found our L likes One Piece too? And idk, I thought that'd be something cute for him and Dabin to bond over. Disclaimer though - I don't watch (and never have) One Piece, so I've been pulling stuff out of articles, I hope I didn't get anything too wrong. Also, I hope y'all have the STARPLE App, and have been voting for the girls everyday! Let's get them to the highest rank we can, my fellow Merries!

 

Jane ran her fingers through her freshly cut bangs, pushing them back with the rest of her newly trimmed hair. She knew she looked bangin’ in her new haircut, so she decided to rock it with a white shirt under a black leather jacket, and matched it with a dark pair of skinny denims. After the mess she found herself in last week, getting a haircut to change things up a bit really did her wonders. She couldn’t have asked for a better way to start the last day of her exhibit. She had received numerous requests for portrait commissions and some more editorial collaboration offers over the duration of her exhibit, and had even sold a good number of the photos she put on display, which surprised even her as she never really thought of her chosen concept as…commercial. The heels of her black stiletto pumps clicked on the marble floors as she breezed past the gallery’s doors. She felt unstoppable really, she felt like she was ready to take on the world. What she saw next however, stopped her dead in her tracks.

 

It was L was biting his lower lip while staring down at one of his burgundy brogues, his left foot crossed behind his right – showing off how well his tapered navy dress pants accented his strong legs. His white button-up shirt’s sleeves folded up to his elbows, hugging his sturdy upper arms, and his forearms hidden behind him. As if on cue, he snapped his head up and instantly met Jane’s eyes.

 

‘Well…so much for my great day’ she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to roll her eyes all the way to the back of her head. She knew this was probably going to be a long, painful, and awkward conversation. ‘At least he’s still never bad to look at’ She always did like to look for silver linings.

 

She cautiously made her way made her way towards her old friend, as he slowly walked to meet her halfway. “Look, L…”

 

He cut her off by presenting her with a bouquet of Baby’s Breath that he had hidden behind him “Jane, I’m sorry. I was way out of line last week. I haven’t seen you in over a decade, and I really didn’t have any business prying so suddenly like that.” He rambled on, his face still full of worry “I was such an ass for making assumptions the way I did and…I really don’t know what else to say. I’m just really, really sorry. Can we start over, please?” L furrowed his brows as he tried to read her eyes.

 

Jane gently glanced down at the bouquet in front of her and her mouth curled into a soft smile “You remembered...” He clumsily extended his arms towards her, offering the flowers for the taking. As she took the bouquet from L, she continued in a whisper “You know I could never stay mad at you…”

 

He couldn’t help but break into a wide, dimpled grin. It made her cover the lower half of her face with the flowers as she tried to stifle a giggle. “Thank heavens” he started “and here I thought I spent every single day of the entire week with a new bunch of spit-smelling flowers for nothing” he ended with a chuckle.

 

“They do not smell like spit!” the strawberry blonde lightly jabbed his shoulder. “You came here every day for the past week?”

 

“Yeah…” he lightly scratched the space behind his ear “I wasn’t exactly sure how to get a hold of you anymore, so…yeah.”

 

She presented him with her open palm “Give me your phone” he quickly picked the device out from his back pocket, unlocking it in one fell swoop, and put it on her hand. She quickly entered her digits and gave herself a ring. As she felt her phone buzz, she dropped the call and slid L’s phone back into his rear pocket. She shuffled to around her bag to grab her phone, flashing him her screen to show one missed call before tossing the device back into the jumbled mess that it came from “Proof that I didn’t wrong-number you”

 

“Cool!” the veteran stuffed his hands into his pockets “So…maybe, let’s catch up over drinks some time?”

 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” She gave him a nod.

 

“Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane~~” the younger photographer couldn’t even react before she felt a soft body crash into her back, flannel-clad arms suddenly wrapped around hers, with hands locking in front of her chest, fencing her in one tight embrace.

 

“Jeez, L. You don’t see your old girl for ten years, and the first thing you do is give her such a drab bouquet!” Jane heard the voice coming in from a few feet behind her. She couldn’t help but stiffen.

 

“Yo!!! Dabin! It’s been too long! How ya been, squirt?” Jane witnessed L reaching out to try and ruffle Yeonwoo’s hair as she approached them, only to have his efforts blocked by the vixen’s quick grip to twist his wrist away. Her friend’s white sweater under an oversized black shirt made her friend’s flashy moves seem even more dramatic. “Ah, still have those lightning reflexes like Zoro, I see” L complimented his other junior “You mean more like Luffy in Gear Second” the dark-haired girl smirked back.

 

If Yeonwoo was here, then that could only mean…

 

“Hey, Jane” she heard her name called out again “you look absolutely stunning today. I love what you did to your hair” the soft voice complimented her. The photographer warily craned her neck to the side, and turned to find none other than the vivacious Nancy Jewel McDonie resting her chin against her shoulder. She could feel the younger girl’s breath against her mouth. Jane’s eyes couldn’t help but drop to the brown-haired girl’s supple pink lips. ‘If we both moved just a little bit closer…’ It took every last bit of Jane to shut her eyes and look away.

 

“Oh, h-hey there, Nancy…” the strawberry blonde nervously started “Uhm…thanks for the compliment…” Jane slowly tried to slip herself out of the younger girl’s tight hug “So you guys really made it”

 

The younger girl just pulled her back in, holding her much tighter “As if we’d miss it for the world! Sorry it took us so long to visit though. We didn’t expect the airline to delay our flight back here by a couple of days” the brunette pressed her cheek against the strawberry blonde’s. Jane’s heart skipped a beat at how the gesture unexpectedly made her feel warm and full. She suddenly had an intense urge to stop time, and relish that moment. She closed her eyes, as she clasped her free hand’s fingers over Nancy’s locked hands, leaning into the younger girl’s hug just a little bit longer.

 

“Oh yeah, where are my manners. Excuse me, princess. Can you come here for a bit?” Yeonwoo called out. Nancy slid her hands off of Jane, to bounce along to her caller. The photographer suddenly felt a rush of cold and emptiness take over as reality had come to break her out of her little daydream.

 

“So this is Nancy” The raven-haired girl initiated the introduction “she’s my girlfriend.” Jane doesn’t exactly know why her heart winced every single time she heard that. It’s not as if she hasn’t already heard it a thousand times.

 

Even if it was only in an instant, Jane couldn’t help but catch the quirked brow L sent her way after being able to properly look at Nancy.

 

“And this is Myungsoo, but we just call him L. He’s an old senior we had while we were still in high school.” Yeonwoo started before continuing “He’s also Jane’s old fu-”

 

“Uh- boyfriend! Boyfriend, I’m an old boyfriend of hers from high school. It’s lovely to meet you, Nancy!” L interrupted as he took the hand Nancy held out, to give it a firm shake.

 

Yeonwoo mouthed back at her best friend, while raising a brow ‘Boyfriend?’ Jane glared at her best friend mouthed back with a glare ‘Just roll with it!’ she wanted to bury her head in her hands, and disappear so bad. She swore despite all her cleverness, Dabin could be so dense at times.

 

“Well it’s nice to meet you too, L! Oh wow! Jane never told me about having an old boyfriend” Nancy gave a firm shake back before retracting her hand.

 

“It was a long time ago. And he left to serve in the armed forces before anything got too serious” Jane put her free hand behind her neck as she murmured through what she felt was an oncoming migraine.

 

“Really? Which branch?” the younger girl excitedly chimed in

 

“I was a combat camera for the army, ma’am.” Jane couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little bit as she flashed a slight smirk. L was always such a charmer.

 

“That’s so cool! My dad was an officer in the army back in the day too!” the brunette straightened up properly and gave the veteran a solid salute “Thank you for your service, sir!”

 

“The pleasure of serving the country has been all mine, ma’am!” L had also set himself straight to give the young girl a firm salute back.

 

“Alright, alright, at ease, peeps. Enough of the formalities. Damn it, L. I still can’t get over how you decided to give Jane a bunch of weeds to give her as a present on the last day of her exhibit, and this is on top of not seeing her in a decade.” Yeonwoo shook her head in mock disappointment

 

“Hey! Don’t blame me for your best friend’s love for those flowers that are named after what they actually smell like!” L snickered

 

“For the last time, L. They don’t smell like baby spit!” Jane pinched her nose bridge as she whined through tightly shut eyes. She felt someone come up to next to her to wrap her in a side hug. She felt a head gently nestling onto her shoulder “Well, I for one think Jane’s favorite flowers are very beautiful.” Of course she’d find bronze waves when she came to open her eyes. “They’re really understated, but if you take a step back, you’ll see that they actually look like a million stars” Nancy mumbled into the photographer’s shoulder.

 

Jane felt her heart beat progressively louder in her chest. It was just too much for her to have Nancy that close, have the younger girl defend her, and have the brunette actually understand why she loved those flowers so much. She gently pried her best friend’s princesses’ hands away, fearing that her heart would be caught rapidly beating.

 

‘Ugh, what am I? In fifth grade or something?? Stop being such a little kid, Jane! It’s just a freaking hug’ the photographer shook her head slightly in hopes of regaining some sense of normalcy.  She tried to start over “Uhm, so why don’t you guys have a look around. You hadn’t visited prior, right?”

 

“That’s what we came here to do! C’mere, princess.” her best friend winked as she offered the Nancy her hand.

 

The younger girl couldn’t help but bite her lower lip to stifle her giddiness as she interlaced her soft, baby-like fingers with Yeonwoo’s long and elegant ones. “Alrightie, puppy!”

 

The gorgeous pair had gone on a few steps ahead, leaving L and Jane trailing behind, as they stopped to study a few photos every now and then. The photographer looked at the clasped hands and couldn’t help but wish she could rid of the heaviness she felt in her chest. She felt a weight on her shoulder, and she glanced to see L’s hand giving it a light reassuring squeeze before disappearing into his pocket. A mild scoff escaped her lips as she shook her head. As if it was that easy.

 

After reaching the point where she left L the week earlier, a very prominent photograph seemed to be missing from the exhibit. Her senior gave her a puzzled look before Yeonwoo interrupted “Jane? Whatever happened to the shots you took of Nancy?”

 

“Oh, uhm.” Jane stuttered “Somebody already bought it”

 

“Yeah, but normally don’t they just put those little red stickers to indicate that they’ve been sold?” the noirette quipped back

 

“Oh, uh—the buyer was foreign, and had to go home right away, so they had it shipped out yesterday. I’m really sorry about that” Jane nervously chuckled. Yeonwoo narrowed her eyes at her best friend. The strawberry blonde felt little rolls of sweat forming at the back of her neck. “Uhm…if you want, I can try going through my archive, so you can have a look?” she lamely offered

 

The raven-haired girl seemed to have let her friend’s fib slide as the young brunette whimpered “Awwww…I was really looking forward to see how it’d turn out in print though!”

 

“Oh well, let’s see how the rest turned out. Shall we, puppy?” Nancy locked Yeonwoo’s arm in between both of hers, before leaning into the taller girl.

 

The vixen couldn’t help but give a soft smile back “Of course, princess” the taller girl bent down to capture Nancy’s lips in a chaste kiss.

 

Jane instantly looked away, trying to hide how she unconsciously winced at the sight. As the pair moved forward, L couldn’t do much but give Jane’s back a gentle rub before slowly walking forward to catch up with the two girls in front of him.

 

L stopped as he felt the back of his shirt being tugged. He looked back to see his favorite junior’s face downcast and on the verge of tears. “Hey, L?”

 

“Yeah, Little Strawberry?”

 

“Maybe we can catch up over drinks a little sooner rather than later?”

 

He hooked his arm around her neck to pull her closer to his frame. He whispered against the top of her hair “Of course, kiddo. Anything you need.”


	4. Drink You Away

Jane buried her face in her hands after resting both of her elbows on the counter. L couldn’t help but give her a worried look as he took the bar stool next to her.

 

“Hey, man. We’ll each be having glass of Johnnie Walker Blue please. We’ll have them neat. Thanks.” L dictated his order to the barkeep. He was told that their drinks were coming right up.

 

The former military man gave her a wary look as he carefully started “Hey, I’m sorry if I told Nancy I was an old boyfriend of yours.” He fidgeted in his seat “I mean…I know we never really talked about what was going on between us when we were just dumb kids in high school, but you seem to hold her in really high regard. I guess it would’ve just been weird if Dabin told her that we were...you know...”

 

Jane couldn’t help but roll her eyes and curl her lips into a sly smile as she turned to face him, her left cheek resting on the back of her hand “Fuck buddies. We were fuck buddies, L. You don’t have to be such a prude about it, it’s not like we’re in fifth grade.” She shook her head as she snorted at her former lover’s efforts to honor her feminine sensibilities. “But I mean, yeah...thanks for that. I’m not gonna pretend I’ve been living like the Virgin Mary my whole life. But...that kid’s opinion of me matters to me a lot. Like, A LOT a lot.” The strawberry blonde let out a heavy sigh

 

“She’s really something, huh?” he smiled quietly

 

“You don’t even know half of it...” she mumbled into the air

 

“Now you’ve just got me curious. Do tell.” L prodded

 

“I mean, you have eyes. You’ve seen her, and you’d seriously need to visit the optometrist if you can’t see that she’s drop dead gorgeous.” Jane started, twiddling with her thumbs as she continued “But, it isn’t just about how she looks. She’s got this phenomenal energy that’s just so infectious, and can take all your worries away. She has all these great ambitions, and it’s amazing to see her pour so much passion into every single thing she does. And then she also possesses this gentle, quiet type of kindness...the sort that isn’t too in your face, but is really just enough to make you feel like everything in the world is going to be okay. She makes me feel like it’s good to be alive. You know what I’m saying?” she gazed blankly at the wooden finishing of the bar counter.

 

“So…” L furrowed his brows as he gave her an intent look “I was right”

 

“Of course you were!” she let out in a bittersweet chuckle

 

“Then why did you run off like that when I essentially just spelled out what you already felt? I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was still a dick move on my part to be a presumptuous prick. But, why deny it?”

 

“I don’t know…I guess for the longest time I never even admitted it to myself. The signs have been there for the past three years, but I guess I thought if I didn’t own up to what I genuinely felt, then it wouldn’t be real. You know?”

 

L didn’t know how else to meet her confession other than with silence.

 

The barkeep had served their drinks shortly thereafter.

 

“So...are you gonna tell me what really happened with Nancy’s portrait?” L asked just before taking the first sip from his glass.

 

She looked away to face the liquor shelf, rubbing her left temple as she responded “I had one of the gallery’s staff put it away. They sent it to my apartment a couple of days after I saw you last week”

 

“Why?” He quirked a brow

 

“Are you insane?” She let out a dark laugh “If you caught me the way you did, do you honestly think THE Dabin Lee wouldn’t notice a thing??”

 

“I suppose that’s fair” he chortled before taking a longer swig of his drink.

 

She played with her glass as she gave it a long hard stare, gently turning it in circles with her fingers “You know, it’s funny...”

 

“What is?” Her old senior inquired.

 

Jane looked at her glass with a sad smile “I can name a brand of liquor for every memory I have of her that made my heart wrench profusely.”

 

“Well then...” L gave her a soft look, the corner of his lip slightly turned up “let’s drown your sorrows tonight with a glass of each one you can remember.”

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

_– Patrón –_

 

 

 

_Jane was standing in front of her kitchen counter, spreading some strawberry jam on her toast when she heard her phone ring. Once she saw who the caller was, she took a bite off her toast before reaching for her phone to answer it “Hey. What’s up, Yeonwoo?”_

 

_“Heyyo, Jane! Doing anything tonight?”_

 

_“I have an art documentary playlist set up on Netflix to binge-watch. I’m pretty excited to watch Sky Ladder” she replied proudly in between chews._

 

_“Well, that’s a waste of a good Friday night.”_

 

_She scoffed at her best friend’s response before she scarfed down what remained of her toast “I will have you know that watching how the fireworks genius Cai Guo-Qiang realized his childhood vision is a very good way of spending my Friday night, thank you very much!”_

 

_“Yeah, if you’re like 65. Jane, for crying out loud, you’re still turning 24 at the end of the year! Live a little, will you?” she could practically hear Yeonwoo rolling her eyes from the other line._

 

_The strawberry blonde sighed after she swallowed the last bits of her toast. She knew the vixen was going to get her way again tonight “Fine. Where are we going tonight, young prince?”_

 

_“I knew you’d see it my way, grandma!!! Remember Nancy’s roommate, JooE? You know, bleach blonde hair, pink streaks, usually in pigtails?”_

 

_“How could anyone forget?” Jane couldn’t hold back her smile as she replied. That energetic girl was really quite the character...in the best way possible._

 

_“Well, she landed herself a main role on a commercial with Tropicana, and Junhoe wants to throw a party in her honor to celebrate. So party tonight, we shall!! His apartment’s in Harlem.”_

 

_“Wait, hold up. Who’s Junhoe?” She asked as she reached for a glass on the kitchen shelf._

 

_“The guy she’s been sort of seeing the past few weeks. I don’t know. He seems to really like her. He’s probably doing this to hint at wanting to go steady”_

 

_“Oh. Cool, cool” she absentmindedly nodded to her best friend’s response as she cradled her phone between her cheek and her shoulder, opening her fridge to reach for her orange juice. She slightly paused as she read the label on the jug ‘Tropicana. How fitting’ she really couldn’t help but smile at the little coincidence._

 

_“So let’s meet up at their place at around 10, and let’s head to Junhoe’s together?”_

 

_“Sure. Sounds good!” She twisted the juice jug’s cap open_

 

_“Awesome. I’ll see you tonight then! Don’t forget, look hot!” she was pretty sure Yeonwoo was winking from her end of the line._

 

_“Puh-lease. That’s what I look like on default.” She haughtily joked back as she poured herself some orange juice_

 

_“That’s the spirit! See you at 10! Love you, loser!”_

 

_“See you, loser!” Jane dropped the call and chugged her OJ down._

 

_………._  
  


_The young photographer gently rapped on her friend’s apartment door at ten on the dot, and was mildly surprised when it was JooE who answered the door. Before Jane could even get a word out, she saw the bleach blonde give her a full head-to-toe, mouth agape as she took in the older girl’s black mid-calf boots with stiletto heels, skin tight Bordeaux leather pants and black spaghetti v-top with double crisscrosses in front, topped with a black bomber jacket._

 

_When the younger girl met her gaze again “Hot damn!!! You really dressed to the nines! NICE-U BODY, SUNG JIYEON!!!”_

 

_The strawberry blonde let out a giggle and let out a wink at the sight of the younger girl’s emerald velvet racer neck crop top, ripped black jeans and dark green suede booties “You’re looking like a total snack tonight yourself, Miss Lee Joowon. Oh yeah!! Congratulations again on nabbing that ad! Here, I got you a little present”_

 

_She opened the brown paper bag she was holding to show its contents to the younger girl. JooE met Jane’s face with a mischievous grin, and pulled out a bottle of Patrón Reposado “Well, it’s gonna be one heck of a party alright!”_

 

_“You bet it will! You deserve it!” She pulled the younger girl into a congratulatory embrace before walking in to take a seat on the couch._

 

_“Nancy’s still getting ready, but she should be out in a few. I think Yeonwoo’s running just a little late, but she should be here in a bit. But hey, what’s new?” JooE casually stated as she put the tequila bottle back in the paper bag, then on their coffee table. The bubbly girl plopped down on the single seater across the photographer, and proceeded to text someone on her phone._

 

_“It’s all good, I’ll keep myself busy” Jane took out her phone to kill some time. After about five minutes of trying to get through the latest puzzle she was solving in Monument Valley, she heard a room door creak open._

 

_She saw Nancy come out, merely dressed in a plain white v-neck baby tee, under an opened black zip up hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of chucks, clutching a corduroy baker boy cap in her left hand. Jane thought the young brunette looked nothing short of heavenly. She didn’t even know she was holding her breath until she let out a “Wow.”_

 

 

_The girl crowned with brown waves beamed brightly at the strawberry blonde “Heya, Jane! Please don’t flatter me too much, I’m literally just wearing a plain white tee.” The younger girl took a seat next to her in a fit of giggles, and interlocked their arms. Nancy gave a low whistle of approval after glancing at the photographer’s outfit “If anything, those boys at the party are gonna need inhalers when you enter the room, because, babe, you’re smokin’!!!”_

 

_Jane blinked as fast as her heart was beating._

 

_“Hear, hear!!!” JooE loudly agreed from across the coffee table._

 

_The strawberry blonde was internally grateful she had such a good poker face, or else she would’ve panicked and ended up flustered in front of the younger girls. So she just gave the brunette a blank look, without saying anything. She had gotten really good at pretending that she was just processing whatever Nancy said or waiting for Nancy to continue on whenever she found herself in sticky situations like this. When she saw Nancy furrow her brows in worry, they all heard a knock followed by a voice from the other side of the door “Hey, princess, it’s me! Please open up.”_

 

_Jane swore she saw Nancy’s eyes glimmer when they heard that voice. It didn’t even take the young brunette a second to untangle herself from the photographer, and open the entrance to launch herself at the dark-haired vixen waiting behind the door, sporting a black newsboy cap, a denim jacket over a cream-colored turtle neck, black dress pant yoga pants and sneakers._

 

__

 

_“Puppy!!!!!” Nancy’s arms were wrapped around Yeonwoo’s neck, as the older girl’s hands steadied the younger’s hips. “Oh look! We have similar hats!” The younger girl slowly pulled back the hand that was holding her cap to present it to the raven-haired beauty._

 

_The two girls had lost themselves in a little trance, earnestly gazing into each other’s eyes. The brunette couldn’t help but bite her lower lip and shyly avert her gaze, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. The noirette’s mouth quivered into a nervous smile as she greeted her girl “H-hi...”_

 

_Jane’s free hand balled into a fist at the sight. She looked down to her knees in an attempt to quell the ache forming in her chest. Something had definitely changed between those two. She just couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was exactly yet. Her internal dilemma was interrupted by JooE’s whine “UGH!!! Please, get a room you two!!!!”_

 

_The girls by the door just giggled and rolled their eyes as they closed the apartment’s entrance. Jane tried to change the topic “So, we all set to go?”_

 

_“I’m actually in the mood for a little snack. Is there anything I can munch on before we leave?” The statuesque beauty asked._

 

_“Ooooh!!! I actually baked some chocolate brownies earlier this afternoon. How about those?” The young brunette offered._

 

_“That sounds great actually” the fox gave her girl a tender smile._

 

_Jane’s eyes followed the two girls as they made their way towards the kitchen island. She didn’t miss the way the back of Yeonwoo’s fingers gingerly brushed against the brunette’s thighs. Nancy held back a yelp as she opened her vacuum sealed container to take a brownie out._

 

_They young girl then raised her hand in front of the older girl as she offered the sweet. Yeonwoo kept her eyes locked on Nancy as she slowly took a bite from the brownie. The noirette took her time consuming the treat, gently brushing her lips against the brunette’s fingers when she finished, never breaking the gaze they shared. The vixen’s tongue peaked out as she licked her upper lip, flashing her girlfriend a delighted smirk “Mmm. Delicious.”_

 

_“UGHH!!! Can you two stop flirting, so we can go already??? How can my dating life progress if you two are just one step behind going at it like bunnies?!” JooE let out a roaring protest which broke everyone out of their reverie._

 

_Jane was sure now that something was up. And she had a pretty good idea of what transpired to bring about this change of behavior between her friends, but she wasn’t sure if she was quite ready to admit it to herself._

 

_All four girls made their way to the apartment building’s front door. JooE holding onto the paper bag containing their tequila. The photographer hadn’t noticed how tightly she had been clutching her fist until she felt a stinging sensation in her palm as she hailed for a cab._

 

_Jane’s companions got in the back, with the bleach blonde insisting on sitting in the middle, policing the girlfriends to keep their hands to themselves for the entire ride. She got in the front seat and stared at the freshly formed crescent lacerations right above the heel of her palm. She couldn’t help but clench her eyes shut, groaning in her head ‘Well fuck...this is gonna be a long night’_

 

_………._

 

_Objectively, the party Junhoe had thrown JooE was the bomb. The charming crooner had gone all out, inviting all of their mutual friends from Julliard, greeting the bleach blonde’s entry with party poppers, a huge ass congratulatory banner, balloons, and a cake with the words ‘GREAT WORK ON LANDING THE AD, JOOE!’. The photographer knew his gesture made the energetic girl ecstatic, and was pretty sure the two were already exclusive at this point. Jane on the other hand, wasn’t exactly having the best time._

 

_She really wasn’t the best at making new friends, and she didn’t really know anyone there aside from the girls she came with. While JooE was busy having a good time with Junhoe and the rest of their friends from school, Nancy and Yeonwoo seemed rather...preoccupied with each other. Of course she spent most of the night avoiding that._

 

_She went around the apartment, nursing a red solo cup the whole time. Politely trying to keep up with a series of conversations with various people (a number of which were seemingly interested boys who were cute enough) had started with her. Two hours in, JooE brought out the Patrón and started giving out shots._

 

_The strawberry blonde cut the conversation she was having with one of JooE’s classmates short, as she felt the bubbly girl’s arm form a hook behind her neck. A tiny shooter glass filled with tequila was practically shoved into her face. “Come on, Jane! Take a shot with me!!!”_

 

_The photographer slightly chuckled as she took the glass from JooE, and clinked her glass with the younger girl’s “To you, JooE! For landing that coveted Tropicana commercial! May many more ad deals come your way! And I pray you land all the roles your heart desires!”_

 

_“Woooooo! I’m definitely drinking to that!!!” The bleach blonde strongly proclaimed. Both girls threw their heads back as they forced down the burning liquid down their throats. Junhoe shortly followed, offering both girls lemon slices._

 

_“Yo, JooE! Why don’t you take a Jägerbomb with me???” A girl with bright red hair called out in their direction._

 

_“I’ll be right there, Michelle!!!” The energetic girl replied, shoving her shot glass and the bottle of Patrón into the photographer’s arms._

 

_A little loosened by the alcohol, Jane raised a brow at Junhoe “Well, she seems to be having a blast. You did good, buddy”_

 

_Junhoe slightly ducked, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he let out a timid smile. “I know it sounds cheesy, but she’s a once in a lifetime kind of girl. I could only hope to give her half of the kind of happiness she gives everyone.”_

 

_The both chucked as they saw JooE breaking into the dance she landed the Tropicana ad with, a little crowd forming around her, cheering her on. Their eyes widened as the bleach blonde almost hit the back of her head against the shade of the floor lamp. The crooner gave the strawberry blonde an apologetic look as he excused himself to make sure the energetic girl didn’t hurt herself. Jane told him it was all good, and observed the new couple, slightly bemused._

 

_The photographer chuckled as she put the shot glasses and the liquor bottle on the end table next to her. She gave it a look and thought ‘Why the hell not?’ As she poured herself another drink._

 

_She took the shot and faintly crinkled her face. For as smooth as Patrón was, at the end of the day, tequila was still tequila._

 

_Feeling a slight buzz, she turned around and headed to get to the kitchen to go grab a glass of water. Before Jane could even make it past the kitchen entrance, she was caught off-guard with the sight that greeted her._

 

_She saw Nancy seated on the kitchen counter, with Yeonwoo standing to young girl’s right hand side, the older girl’s back leaning against the same counter._

 

_They seemed to be talking about something funny, and both broke out into a laugh. The raven-haired girl’s left hand landed on the brunette’s right thigh. The two girls suddenly stopped laughing and had begun staring at each other longingly. Yeonwoo’s long, elegant fingers inched higher on Nancy’s jean-covered legs, slowly moving towards the juncture between the younger girl’s thighs in a rubbing motion._

 

_The brunette couldn’t help but stare at her girlfriend’s lips with hooded eyes, biting her lower lip in anticipation. The noirette flashed a devilish grin as she quickly dove in and nuzzled the area right behind the younger girl’s ear with her nose, tenderly stroking the area with her lips._

 

_Jane saw Nancy’s eyes roll to the back of her head as she squeezed them shut. The photographer couldn’t hear anything from where she was standing, but was pretty sure Nancy was moaning with the way the young girl had parted her lips. The brunette then broke out into a giggle as she playfully pushed away the dark-haired seductress._

 

_The sexual tension in the kitchen was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Even if Jane tried her best to refuse to acknowledge the only conclusion that could have been drawn from all her observations that night, there was no denying it. Nancy and Yeonwoo had started fucking._

 

_The vixen chuckled before settling into a gentle smile. She leaned in and gave the brunette’s lips a chaste kiss._

 

_The younger girl’s hand suddenly latched on to hold her girlfriend’s head in place as she deepened the kiss. Jane suddenly shut everything out, and couldn’t hear anything but the loud pounding coming from her chest. She turned on her heels and headed towards for the bathroom, trying to keep herself together with deep and heavy breaths._

 

_Once she reached her destination, she locked herself in and sat on the toilet. She raised her head to the ceiling as she felt a stinging sensation come over her eyes_

 

_“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry” she chanted in a whisper. Desperately trying to pray away the inevitable._

 

_As she felt the hot stream of tears brush past her temples, she snapped her head down, facing her knees, both hands clutching her aching chest. It didn’t take long before she broke into muffled sobs, the sight of her knees blurring._

 

_She wasn’t sure how long she had been crying on the toilet, but she broke out of it when she heard a loud knock against the bathroom door and a voice yelling “Hey! Sorry, but can you hurry it up? I really gotta pee!!!”_

 

_“I’ll be right out” Jane croaked back. She sniffled back the rest of her tears, and tried to assess how she looked in the mirror before heading out._

 

_Her lips were swollen, her nose was stuffy & red, and her mascara had made long ugly streaks across her cheeks. ‘Fuck...I look like shit’_

 

_She quickly turned the sink tap open, and splashed some water on her face. She reached for a paper towel, roughly rubbing her cheeks in an attempt to erase the mascara that had run there. She quickly tossed the towel to the bin, and made a hasty exit, brushing past the red-headed girl, Michelle – who rushed into the bathroom before she could give the strawberry blonde a good look._

 

_Jane knew she couldn’t stay there any longer. She took her jacket from the coat rack and exited the apartment. As she entered the back seat of the cab she had flagged down, she took out her phone and sent out a group message to Yeonwoo, Nancy and JooE._

 

_‘Hey, I’ll head on ahead. I got an upset stomach. Enjoy the rest of the night! :)’_

 

_She hit send, and pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the cab’s rear side window. She felt the tears threatening to form again. Jane closed her eyes shut and the warm liquid angrily ran down her cheeks once again. She quietly wept on the way back to her apartment, all the way into her bed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry it took me a while to update. I was in Korea for a week! I had fun doing this little K-drama/K-pop pilgrimage, while getting to enjoy Seoul's beautiful autumn foliage. Anyway, I'm gonna gave to cut this chapter short, because it's getting too long, and I want to make it a relatively easy read (well that, and if I did everything, it might take me forever to update ㅠㅠ). It's the first of a two-parter, so you'll see a continuation of Jane's other memories in the next chapter.


	5. A Drink to Remember, A Drink to Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ASDFGHJKL~~ This chapter ended up WAY LONGER than I had initially anticipated...there's really not much I can say other than I hope you enjoy, and sorry for all the picture spam~~~ Nancy and Jane were so cute in the playground ( ；∀；)

 

_**********_

 

 

 

_\- Tito’s -_

 

 

 

_Yeonwoo had thrown a massive party at her apartment because she had just landed a job as a key animator, at the one company she’d been dreaming of working for her entire life - The Walt Disney Animation Studios. As the raven-haired beauty was moving to California at the end of the month, she decided to go off with a bang for her last hosted hurrah in New York City. Jane couldn’t be happier for her best friend. This had been the noirette’s dream since they were just little grade schoolers from Palisades Park._

 

_Everyone who came over had really come to let loose, and the party had gotten pretty wild. Everyone seemed to be having a blast. So much so that everyone saw Yeonwoo and Nancy grinding on each other in the middle of the makeshift dance floor. The crowd screamed in delight seeing the two visual goddesses’ display._

 

_It made Jane feel sick. So she threw back her head, finishing another glass of Tito’s. She pulled that nice-looking boy she was talking to earlier away from the crowd and into a dark corner. “Charlie, was it?”_

 

_“Yeah, but some of my Korean friends call me Doy-“_

 

_“Uhuh, sure. That’s cute.” She interrupted, placing a finger against his lips “But how about instead of doing that...” her fingers moving in circles at his little re-introduction. Seductively smiling as her lips lightly grazed against his, she whispered “why don’t you do me?”_

 

_He couldn’t help but smirk back as he replied “Oh please don’t mind if I do”_

 

_Their tongues were quickly locked in an intricate dance. But instead of focusing on the feel of how his hard body was deliciously pressing against the heat of her core, all she could think about was how she was running her hand through short choppy black locks with blue streaks instead of beautiful copper tresses. How empty she felt seeing a sea of black orbs staring back at her when they gasped for air, while her heart continued to search for a pair of hazelnut eyes that held the warmth of the sun. How she was gyrating her body against a lean muscular frame, when all she really longed for was to lose herself in a particular someone’s soft curves that held firm in all the right places._

 

_‘How the hell can I even think of you when I’m with him?’ she thought bitterly as she pulled back. She sighed as she broke the news to her make-out partner “Look. Sorry, bud. But it’s just not working out for me, at least not tonight. Maybe next time…”_

 

_The young man’s face fell, dejectedly responding before he made his way back to the crowd “Oh...okay. Catch you whenever I guess?”_

 

_She just nodded to see the poor boy off before muttering under her breath “Jane, you really are a piece of shit.”_

 

_The photographer decided to head to the kitchen, pouring herself another glass of Tito’s. She opened her best friend’s fridge and grabbed a bottle of cranberry juice and OJ, before mixing it in with her vodka. After putting the drinks back, she continued the night on, sipping her drink, and making casual conversation with whoever entered the kitchen._

 

_After a couple of hours, the party started to clear out. Jane checked the time and it was a quarter after three. She looked at the filled trash bags on the kitchen floor and decided maybe it was time to clean up a little bit. Tying two bags shut, she picked them up and made her way out the back-alley dumpster. She tossed a bag in after the other, dusting her hands off in a clapping motion when she was through._

 

_Jane made her way back up to Yeonwoo’s apartment, and heard a slight hum of music playing over the speakers as she entered._

 

_It was Linger by The Cranberries._

 

_She quietly hummed along as she was about to pick up the empty beer bottles left on the cocktail table, but she stopped dead in her tracks as she heard the voice of an angel from a distance. Her eyes trailed the source, and she found Nancy and Yeonwoo by the balcony, slowly dancing in a closed position, underneath the moonlight._

 

_“ **But I'm in so deep** ” the words left Nancy’s mouth in a captivating melody “ **you know I'm such a fool for you...** ” the brunette moved to lock her hands together behind the older girl’s neck. The raven haired girl’s hands dropped to hold the younger girl’s lower back **“you've got me wrapped around your finger** ” Yeonwoo pressed their foreheads together, a soft smile forming on her lips as she rubbed her thumbs in little circles against the hips of the copper-haired goddess “ **Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, do have to let it linger?** ” The pair had pulled back, only to intensely fixate themselves in each other’s eyes._

 

_“Puppy...I know it’s always been your dream, and that it’s selfish for me to say this but I-” the young girl started, her voice quivering as she continued “I don’t want you to go.”_

 

_“Awwww...princess, you don’t have to worry. You can always visit me when you’re free. And I promise I’ll fly back here every month, it’s like you won’t even know I’m gone. You might actually get sick of me flying in all the time! And heyyyyy, this actually gets me a step closer to making you an official Disney Princess!” Yeonwoo attempted to joke lamely. She didn’t get even the slightest chuckle as a response._

 

_“I...I don’t know. I’m just scared. I’ve never felt this way about anyone ever before...” the young girl sniveled a little “you actually make me give a rat’s ass...And I can’t bear the thought of us being apart for such long intervals at a time. What if someone comes in to whisk you away while I’m not there??” The younger girl sincerely cried out_

 

_The older girl just let out a low chuckle as she took both of the brunette’s fingers in hers, planting a soft kiss at the back of the girl’s hands “Well I give a rat’s ass about you too, baby girl” before firmly placing them against her chest. “I know we’ve only known each other for a little over a year now, but...” She earnestly gazed into the younger girl’s eyes as she declared for the very first time “Nancy Jewel McDonie...I love you.” The brunette let out a surprised gasp as the raven-haired beauty continued “and I promise no matter where the wind takes me, I will always come back to you. Because wherever you are is where home is.” The copper-haired maiden had tears freely flowing at this point “And I swear to you that it’s you, and only you who can ever be that for me. You always have been. You always will be.” The taller girl leaned in, sealing her declaration and her promise with a sweet kiss._

 

_The young girl wrapped her arms around the noirette’s neck, pulling her in to deepen their kiss. As she pulled back for air, she looked with tear-filled eyes into the older girl’s, revealing her feelings as well “I love you too.”_

 

_They looked so perfect; the scene almost like it had been ripped straight out of a movie. Jane glanced down at the half-empty bottle of Tito’s lying on the couch. She wordlessly grabbed it, taking a long swig as she quietly made her way out of the apartment. She immediately regretted that she hadn’t ended up tangling herself in the sheets of Charlie’s bed instead._

 

 

 

_**********_

 

 

 

_\- Dom Pérignon and Hennessy -_

 

 

 

 

_“Hey, thanks again for coming out on such short notice.” The brunette beauty greeted as Jane slid into the chair across_

 

_“It’s no biggie. I wasn’t really doing anything, so it’s not like you were bothering me or anything...” the photographer casually responded “What’s up anyway?”_

 

_“Uhm. I was wondering if you could help me out. Yeonwoo’s flying back in next week for our second anniversary” a shy smile slipped out “and I wanted to set up a little surprise for her”_

 

_The corner of Jane’s mouth twitched, she smoothly brushed it off by throwing in a gummy grin “that sounds amazing...” Jane hoped Nancy didn’t catch how her voice fell towards the end “what can I do?”_

 

_“Why don’t we discuss it after we’re done eating? I’m starving really, and I need the brain fuel” the brunette beauty sheepishly smiled_

 

_“Sure” the photographer slightly nodded. A server came in to take what the girls wanted, and were told that their orders would be coming in after 20 minutes._

 

_Jane didn’t really know what to say. She had never been left all alone with Nancy, and she suddenly felt more awkward than usual. She ended up trying to look busy by tinkering with her phone._

 

_Nancy pulled her lip to the side, seemingly a tad upset at being ignored. She ended up calling the server again, asking for some colored pencils and some paper. The server gave her a slight chuckle and shortly returned with the brunette’s request._

 

_Jane saw from the corner of her eyes that the young girl had started scribbling seashells onto the blank canvas. The photographer was so amused that she quietly took her DSLR out of her bag and snapped a shot while the brunette beauty was focused on picking her next color, her lips pursed into a little pout._

 

_Once Nancy heard the shutter go off, she snapped her head towards Jane, and ended up with a confused smile. The younger girl’s eyes widened as she saw the camera in her friend’s hands._

 

_“YOU DID NOT!!!” She heaved out as she tried to swipe Jane’s camera away._

 

_Jane evilly cackled out as she skillfully avoided the younger girl’s grasp “I couldn’t help it, you looked like a little kid!”_

 

_Nancy gave her such a bright smile that she swore her heart stopped beating for a second “Can you let me see how it looks at least? I won’t delete it, I promise. Even if I look butt-ugly, I swear I won’t”_

 

_‘As if that were even possible’ Jane held back her thoughts. Instead, she slowly handed the younger girl her camera and showed her the preview screen._

 

 

_The brunette beauty stared at the screen in awe as she asked “How do you take such amazing photos?”_

 

_Jane gave the younger girl a sincere look, and she retorted “...it’s because you’re my model.”_

 

_Nancy couldn’t help but burst out in a fit of giggles, feeling a little self-satisfied towards the end. She modestly smiled back as their food arrived “You know, people joke around saying that you’re dead inside, but you’re actually the funniest, Jane”_

 

_.........._

 

_“Thanks again for all the tips and ideas! I’m really more confident with what I have planned now!” Nancy flashed her the most radiant of smiles. The photographer shrugged her coat on, as they walked out the restaurant. She waited a bit for the younger girl as the brunette struggled with sliding on her windowpane jacket after she had zipped up the hoodie that covered her striped dress shirt._

 

_“It’s no biggie. Just hit me up if you ever run into trouble or if you need anything else.” She stared at the sidewalk as she quietly replied._

 

_They kept walking down the pavement right next to each other in a comfortable silence, shoulders bumping ever so often. Jane was glad the crisp autumn air had made the flush forming in her cheeks rather ambiguous. She glanced at the brunette beauty from the corner of her eyes, and decided that she liked this feeling. She felt content merely being by Nancy’s side. Somehow it made her feel a little more...whole._

 

_As the strawberry blonde was about to turn to the younger girl to bid her goodbye, she felt her pinky brush against the young girl’s. She was about to snatch her hand back, as if she had touched something forbidden, but Nancy had hooked their pinkies together before Jane could even blink._

 

_“Hey, look! It’s a playground!!!” The brunette beauty had pointed to a small park with a little recreational area on the side...aside from the seesaw and a couple of swings, it was more of an outdoor gym really. She looked at the older girl with puppy dog eyes “D’ya think we can hang out here for a little while?”_

 

_There was no way in hell that Jane could even remotely refuse that look “Yeah...sure thing.”_

 

_Nancy lead her to the air-walkers and decided “Hey, let’s do this one first!” The younger girl snatched her hand back and urged the strawberry blonde to go ahead “I’ll just set up my phone’s camera, I bet we’re gonna look so cute!”_

 

_Jane couldn’t hold back the smile that started forming from the corner of her lips “Alright, let’s do this.”_

 

_The photographer slowly swung both of her legs forward then back, before getting into a steady rhythm, alternating both legs. Nancy shortly followed, mounting the air walker right next to the strawberry blonde. The brunette beauty rapidly accelerated her movements and was close to making full splits mid-air with the machine. Jane’s eyes widened in surprise as the young girl flashed her back a mischievous smirk, throwing both legs suddenly as far as she could in front and then behind her. Both of them suddenly had to come to a halt because of how hard they their chuckling had become. The strawberry was amused at how big of a kid the marshmallow princess still was._

 

 

_Nancy quickly got off and ran towards the pull up bars. She quickly held onto the middle bar, and made steps on the wooden post, quickly hooking her lower legs around the metal bar. She was hanging upside down and gave Jane a naughty smirk._

 

_“I thought they called you a bunny in high school. It looks to me they should’ve called you monkey” the photographer casually shrugged_

 

 

_“But it’s so fun!!! C’mere, Jane. Give it a go!” The brunette beauty slowly made her way back down. The strawberry blonde’s hands hovered over the younger girl to ensure her safety. The older girl held back a blush as Nancy’s bottom accidentally brushed against her palm as she helped the younger girl down._

 

_Jane mirrored Nancy’s movements to a T. She nervously laughed after her shoe slipped past the bar when she was making her way back down. The young girl chirped “Careful!!!”_

 

_The brunette then made a dash towards the chest press, and Jane moved to angle the camera phone towards the younger girl as she sat on the machine “You ready?”_

 

_The brunette firmly nodded to signal her start, and tried to move the machine’s handles closer to each other. She was able to move about a quarter of the way there before she suddenly gave up and walked away from the chest press._

 

 

_Jane stopped the recording. Nancy let out a sheepish grin towards the older girl “I can’t do it. I think I’m too heavy.” A nervous laugh escaped her before she continued “Maybe if I shed off a few pou-“_

 

_“Shut up.” the photographer curtly cut the younger girl, who suddenly looked just as taken aback as she was hurt. Jane suddenly realized how what she said came off “No! Wait! I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant” her hands slowly reached towards Nancy to signal her apology, she took them right back and settled on balling them into fists to her sides “I just meant that that it’s so hard to hear you talking negatively about your own weight. You always do this...you’re always so tough on yourself, even if you’re already trying your best and working harder than anyone.” She massaged the back of her neck with one hand as she carried on “I notice that you skip a lot of meals, and get really small portions when you decide to eat, on top of hitting the gym like crazy. And you don’t even need to do any of that shit. Because I honestly think...” she longingly looked at the younger girl, letting out a defeated sigh “...you’re perfect just the way you are.”_

 

_The younger girl wiped the tears that had started forming at the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand. She had brushed them off before they even had the chance to fall, and she slowly walked towards the older girl. The brunette beauty slipped her arms underneath the photographer’s coat, and wrapped her arms around the strawberry blonde’s waist. Nancy gently rest her head against Jane’s chest and mumbled into it “Thank you...you don’t know how much I needed to hear that today.”_

 

_Jane was unsure about how to proceed, so she just took the edges of her coat and wrapped it around the younger girl. Resting her cheek on top of the younger girl’s head as she whispered back “Anytime...”_

 

_The younger girl looked up at her with glassy eyes as she started “You’re the absolute best, Jane. It’s really no wonder you’re Yeonwoo’s best friend”_

 

_She felt a twinge in her chest as she gave Nancy a reassuring smile. She almost forgot that she didn’t even exist as a footnote in the young girl’s fairytale romance “Yeah. I’m pretty lucky to have her as my best friend too. Come on. Let’s send that dork our video.”_

 

 

 

_\- one week later -_

 

 

 

_Jane had a flight out to Arizona at 5am for a shoot booked by National Geographic, and she just finished up packing her bags and equipment. She glanced at her wall clock, letting out a low whistle ‘11:30...not bad. I still have time to clean up my room before I head out. Nice’_

 

_She shook her head as she looked at the mess she had created in her room. Jane picked up a sock that was dangling from her lamp shade “Damnit, I really should clean up my act. It looks like a hurricane passed through here...”_

 

_Just as she was about to start fixing the mess she had made, her phone rang. She didn’t even bother looking at the caller ID, and relied on muscle memory to click the green button to pick up the call._

 

_“Jane?” she heard a sweet voice calling out her name before she even had the chance to say hello. She’d know that voice anywhere “Yeonwoo couldn’t make it. She said work held her back...again.” She could hear the younger girl sniffle and let out some shaky breaths “She was supposed to be on that plane like five hours ago...but she didn’t even bother calling me until fifteen minutes earlier” she could hear the younger girl stifle back a sob, her voice cracking as she pleaded “Can you please come over? JooE and June drove upstate for the weekend, so I’m all alone...and I really need a friend right now”_

 

_“I’ll be there in 10”_

 

_.........._

 

_The photographer gently rapped on the door, and she was quickly greeted with glassy eyes, a stuffy red nose and flushed blotchy cheeks._

 

_“Jane...” Nancy’s voice broke out in a throaty whisper as she slid her arms under the older girl’s coat. She tightly hooked her elbows around Jane’s back, whimpering as she buried her face into the photographer’s shoulders._

 

_Nancy burst into tears as she tightly held onto the strawberry blonde, pulling her into the apartment, as she openly wept into her shoulder. Jane slowly shut the door behind her and hovered her arms around the younger girl, unsure of what exactly to do. She did a quick scan of the apartment to see that Nancy had really outdone herself._

 

_She saw the luxury balloons tied to the chairs by the dining table, with a huge transparent balloon with gold and red confetti inside, that said “Happy 2nd To Us, Puppy!” in a beautiful script of scarlet.  There were white balloon animals, shaped like dogs seated on each chair. On the wall, it looked like Nancy had made a pixel art version of Monkey D. Luffy on the wall using Post-Its. On the table was a blue top hat with bunny ears sprouting out of it and a bright red headband with fox ears. Adjacent to the headgear was a cake that was shaped into a fluffy white puppy (it was so convincing, Jane actually thought Nancy had bought the real thing), with two long gold candles, that were melted almost halfway. Right next to it was a box with a red ribbon on top, containing an 8-inch White Beard action figure...the photographer was sure that the young girl had to have imported it from Japan. In front of the gift was a beautiful box of pastel-colored French macarons, a plate filled with croissants and strawberry-adorned champagne flutes. Everything Nancy prepared had looked immaculate...save for the seemingly empty bottle of Dom Pérignon that had been knocked over._

 

_Jane wanted to kick Yeonwoo’s ass so hard she wanted her foot to pop out of her best friend’s mouth._

 

_The photographer lead both of them to the couch for a seat, and the brunette had just clutched onto her tighter, openly wailing incoherent agonized words into her frame. The blonde looped one arm around the girl’s back, and put her other hand on the younger girl’s copper waves, gently brushing it downwards in a feeble attempt to soothe her pain. “I’m sorry this had to happen, Nancy. I’m sure Yeonwoo didn’t mean for it to be like this...”_

 

_The younger girl just started crying harder, and the photographer could do nothing else but let the girl pour all of her anger, despair and frustrations out. She leaned back so they could both comfortable lay across the couch._

 

_Once Nancy’s sobbing had subsided, the strawberry blonde whispered against the young girl’s hair “I really wish there was something more I could do to help you feel better.”_

 

_With that the brunette beauty pulled back and hopefully gazed into the older girl’s eyes. She wordlessly moved away from the photographer and went straight for the kitchen. The young girl quickly reappeared with two balloon glasses in one hand, and a bottle of Hennessy in the other. She poured the cognac into the two glasses and put one on the coffee table, right in front of Jane, deliberately commanding the older girl to “Drink.”_

 

_The photographer could only nod back, bringing the glass to her lips, taking a slow sip. Her eyes widened as the young girl had just downed the rest of her drink as if it were a tequila shot. She was almost tempted to lecture the brunette on how to properly enjoy the drink, but it was beat out by her concern over the girl’s inebriated state “Nancy...”_

 

_“Another!” The girl demanded as she quickly refilled her glass and challenged her older friend to catch up. Well, shit. She knew she was definitely missing that flight to Arizona._

 

_After a few more glasses, the rest of the night pretty much became a blur. She vaguely remembered pulling Nancy’s hair back as the younger girl had paid homage to the porcelain god. She passed the young girl some mouthwash to get the rancid taste off of her mouth, which was complied to with no protest. She then noticed that despite all their best efforts, some vomit had still spilled onto the brunette’s hair and dress. Jane helped her move closer to the bath tub to clean up a little._

 

_The older girl turned the tap on and water had started flow from the movable shower-head. She was about to reach for it but got beat out by the copper-haired beauty, who suddenly broke into a devilish grin before turning the head to face the strawberry blonde. Jane was soaked, and there was an eerie silence between them. The younger girl had suddenly gotten worried and began to apologize “I’m so sor-”_

 

_“Oh you’re definitely getting it now!!” The older girl interrupted and forcefully grabbed the shower-head, turning it on Nancy, making sure every inch of the younger girl was drenched._

 

_Both of them had been giggling so hard before the younger girl called for a truce “I surrender!!!”_

 

_Jane turned off the tap and returned the shower-head to its place. Nancy then took the older girl’s hand in hers and started leading them to her bedroom._

 

_The young girl let the photographer’s hand go to open her closet, grabbing a towel for herself and tossing a towel over to her older friend. “Feel free to grab some PJs.”_

 

_“Alright” the photographer slowly made her way towards the closet after trying to dry off all of the excess water. She settled on the red flannel pajamas she found in her friend’s closet. When she turned around to ask Nancy if what she had picked was okay, she was startled at the sight that greeted her._

 

_The young girl’s drenched dress had lain forgotten on the floor, her towel serving as a barrier between her and the bed. Leaving the copper-haired goddess clad in nothing but a matching set of lacey scarlet lingerie._

 

_Jane couldn’t help but gawk at the all of the skin that was suddenly exposed to her. Bathed in nothing but the light of the moon, the young girl was literally glowing. The photographer’s eyes traced the delicate inner flesh of her arms, the flat milky planes of her stomach and the creamy expanse of her legs. Nancy really was a vision in red._

 

_Her heart had started beating so rapidly, she swore it would burst out of her chest...but then she remembered that the young girl had prepared these undergarments for no one else but one raven-haired beauty. It didn’t take too long for her heart to sink to the bottom of her stomach._

 

_She turned back to face the closet, quickly dressing herself in the pajamas she had chosen, and then pulled out a white silk robe. Jane went back and dressed the younger girl in the robe, gently moving Nancy’s body a little closer to the headboard._

 

_She grabbed her phone from her pants’ back pocket, and sent an email to the NatGeo coordinator that an emergency had come up and that she’d have to delay flying out to Arizona for a couple of hours._

 

_After she had finished booking her new flight, the photographer heard the young girl snoring lightly. She lightly pulled the covers over Nancy’s body. Jane let out a slight smile at the sight. Every time she thought she was done, it never took too long before something had drawn her back to the brunette beauty._

 

_She wanted to savor every moment of this...she probably wouldn’t have much of a chance to be this close to the young girl ever again._

 

_The photographer gently pat the younger girl’s head, her thumb brushing away some stray strands. She had this intense desire to lay next to girl’s side and just share a bed in their slumber._

 

_It never failed to amaze Jane how easily she was mesmerized by Nancy’s beauty. The older girl dragged her eyes along the girl’s thick long lashes, her high elegant nose before settling on her supple pink lips._

 

_Before she knew it she had leaned in to close the gap, their lips barely touching. All it would take was just a little push, just a millimeter, and then they would..._

 

_Jane tightly shut her eyes and furrowed her brows in frustration, slightly pulling back. Settling on pressing her forehead against the younger girl’s. Their faces were so close, but it didn’t stop the older girl from lavishing Nancy in the most longing of looks._

 

_“It's funny...” Jane slowly started in a whisper “growing up, everyone told me I could get anything I wanted in this life if I tried my best and worked hard enough.” She carried on “For the longest time, I believed and have been living proof of that. So I'd like you to tell me - despite everything I do...” she slowly closed her eyes, hopelessly asking “why I can't ever have you?”_

 

 

 

_**********_

 

 

 

“I saw her first you know” she tightened her grip on the glass in front of her.

 

“Did you now?” L dragged as he quirked his brow at his former junior.

 

“Hah. Yeah. I did. And maybe if I didn’t chicken out of talking to her, I wouldn’t be in this fucking mess” she shook her head, the alcohol making her suddenly see the humor in her own suffering.

 

“You know what they say. Hindsight’s always 20-20.” He raised his glass in her direction. She clinked hers in response, both throwing their heads back as the hard liquor burned down their throats.

 

“I know they say all’s fair in love and war...yet I can’t help but feel like the universe hasn’t been taking my side at all...” Jane stared at her glass rather dreamily before breaking out in a forlorn smile “It’s not fair. I loved her first.”

 

L gave her a long hard look. He furrowed his brows as he didn’t know how else to respond to the photographer’s confession.  So he met her with silence, hesitating as he gently placed his hand between her shoulder blades, lightly moving it up and down – his feeble attempt at trying to alleviate her pain.

 

Tears began brimming in her eyes, her voice cracking as she asked “How do you stop loving someone?”

 

He paused as he took in took in every inch of her melancholic beauty, giving her a sad smile as he whispered back “You don’t.”

 

 

..........

 

 

The cab ride to her apartment was rather quiet. L had insisted on bringing her home, and she ended up dozing off on his shoulder. When they got to her block, she ended up missing a few steps here and there, all the alcohol she had consumed giving her all that she was due. He helped her get all the way to her unit door, and once there, the young photographer struggled with her keys to turn the lock open.

 

She stumbled past the door, key in hand, and looked over her shoulder; her old senior warily looking at her from the hallway, the light from his end spilling into her dark apartment. She shakily made her way back towards him, eyes locked on the floor to avoid falling over. Once she made it to her doorframe, she reached for the hem of his untucked dress shirt and gave it a firm tug, her fingers tightly gripping onto the fabric that it made a crease “Stay the night...please?”

 

There was a pregnant pause as they locked eyes. She could see from the former combat camera’s expression that there was internal conflict brewing within.

 

He made a stride to get into her flat and nodded “Okay.” He shut the door behind him and flipped the lock.

 

He steadied her as they made their way too her room. Once he helped her take a seat at the end of the bed, Jane suddenly crashed her lips into him, pulling his body into hers as she lay them both down. As his solid chest pressed against her soft mounds, he gasped in surprise. She took the opportunity his astonishment presented, and slid her tongue to meet his.

 

He tasted just as exquisite as she remembered.

 

“Whoa, whoa, woah, what’re you doing?” He shot her a bewildered look, suddenly keeping her at arm’s length.

 

‘Of course he had to pull back.’ She thought to herself, huffing out in frustration. She propped herself up with her elbows as she confronted him with a hurt expression “What’s the big deal? It’s nothing we haven’t done before.”

 

“Look…” he started, straightening out his shirt, as he stood at the foot of her bed “I fucked up when we were kids.” He scratched the back of his head “Big time.”

 

He was looking her dead straight in the eyes “We were just so young...and I was so scared about how you made me feel that I just ran off. But I swear, I’m gonna do right by you this time.”

 

She adjusted her position so that she was seated at the bed’s edge again. He took a seat next to her as he continued “Right now, that means being a good friend. Especially now, because I know you really need one. And as your friend, I’m here to tell you that you should sort out your feelings instead of trying to fuck them away.”

 

Why did he always have to make so much sense? She gave him a pout “Is it really so bad to have one more night?”

 

“I’m sure us not really confronting our feelings when we were younger messed us up pretty bad. So I want you to face what you feel. Maybe head on, maybe in baby steps. Just...don’t run away from it anymore.” He put his hand on her knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze

 

“Oh, okay…” she suddenly felt really dirty “I’m sorry”

 

“Hey, it’s alright” he whispered back, gently laying her onto her bed and tucking her in underneath the blankets. He took a seat next to her and offered a small smile.

 

Her eyelids suddenly felt really heavy as he softly stroked her hair in a lulling rhythm. The alcohol finally taking its toll on her body, knocking her close to sleep when she heard him murmur “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have just one more night, but maybe you could have every night of your life instead…”

 

She tried to open one eye to look at her old senior, her mind in a jumbled haze as she mumbled back “What’re you talking about?”

 

He gave her a soft smile “It’s nothing. Goodnight, Jane.”

 

The last thing she remembered was getting a kiss planted on her head.

 

She woke up about a few hours later with a glass of water and some aspirin on top of her bedside table in the morning. There was a little note next to it. ‘Sorry, something came up, I had to dash. Drink this up and hydrate, so you’ll feel less like shit in the morning. Take care of yourself, kiddo. If there’s anything you need, you know I’m just a ring away.’

 

‘I guess he really is serious about this ‘friends’ thing.’ She thought as she popped the pill in her mouth, quickly washing it down with her glass of water.


End file.
